The first thing children learn when they have a narcissistic parent is how to blame themselves. We know that this childhood abuse — whether overt psychological warfare, covert emotional manipulation, or the …
Recovering From Self-Abandonment After Narcissistic and Scapegoat Abuse
“Self-abandonment was my way of dealing with their abandonment.” This is the realization one of my readers came to and shared with me in a recent email. They continued, “What’s …
Reigniting Your Joy, Energy, and Motivation After Narcissistic System Abuse
Are you languishing in life? Not to be that person that reminds you of the existential horror of the pandemic but…remember that? Remember when you were sitting at home, lonely …
Self-Policing: How Narcissistic System Abuse Teaches Us To Abandon Ourselves
I’m sitting by a woodstove while the sun glistens off several feet of crisp white snow outside my window. The dark days of winter are hard, but days like this …
How “Narcissistic Training” Harms You Even When You’ve Left Toxicity Behind
How many of you didn’t pursue your goals and dreams? How many of you aren’t just grieving what happened to you, but are grieving the loss of who you wanted …
Risking Imperfection as a Survivor of Narcissistic System and Scapegoating Abuse
Do you ever feel the paralyzing effects of perfectionism? When I was doing my doctorate, my burnout levels were so high that I ended up having to write my entire …
Narcissistic System Abuse: What It Is, How It Works, and Why It’s So Damaging
“I feel like I am covered in a shroud that no one else can see and that no one else wears”, says Melissa, a 40-something mother of one. Melissa came …
Rumination: The Invisible Trauma Bond That Re-Attaches You To Toxicity
My phone tells me how many hours I spend online. The weekly report offers comparisons from one week to the next; Was I up 33% from last week? Was it …
Unmasking Trauma: Making Recovery From Attachment Wounding More Bearable
How heavy is your mask? Are you walking around your life like “Trauma in a Trenchcoat”? Meaning, are you using up all your energy to “mask” and hide away your trauma …
There’s No Place Like Home: Creating New Horizons When You’ve Been Ejected From The Scapegoat Family
“I am lucky to have good neighbours. We’ve become close-ish. Hopefully, our friendship will continue to grow. It’s a small mercy, given I uprooted my life, and departed all my …