Betrayal. Hypocrisy. Injustice. Reputation Assassination. Identity theft. Because that’s what it is, isn’t it? When the Narcissistic System or Scapegoat Machine gets a hold of you… Emotional kidnapping. Love held …
Learning To Trust Again After Narcissistic Abuse
The first thing children learn when they have a narcissistic parent is how to blame themselves. We know that this childhood abuse — whether overt psychological warfare, covert emotional manipulation, or the …
Recovering From Self-Abandonment After Narcissistic and Scapegoat Abuse
“Self-abandonment was my way of dealing with their abandonment.” This is the realization one of my readers came to and shared with me in a recent email. They continued, “What’s …
Self-Policing: How Narcissistic System Abuse Teaches Us To Abandon Ourselves
I’m sitting by a woodstove while the sun glistens off several feet of crisp white snow outside my window. The dark days of winter are hard, but days like this …
How “Narcissistic Training” Harms You Even When You’ve Left Toxicity Behind
How many of you didn’t pursue your goals and dreams? How many of you aren’t just grieving what happened to you, but are grieving the loss of who you wanted …
Risking Imperfection as a Survivor of Narcissistic System and Scapegoating Abuse
Do you ever feel the paralyzing effects of perfectionism? When I was doing my doctorate, my burnout levels were so high that I ended up having to write my entire …
Narcissistic System Abuse: What It Is, How It Works, and Why It’s So Damaging
“I feel like I am covered in a shroud that no one else can see and that no one else wears”, says Melissa, a 40-something mother of one. Melissa came …
Rumination: The Invisible Trauma Bond That Re-Attaches You To Toxicity
My phone tells me how many hours I spend online. The weekly report offers comparisons from one week to the next; Was I up 33% from last week? Was it …
Going No Contact On Your Terms: Hidden Choices, Power Moves, And The Reality Of ‘Navigating’ Narcissistic Systems
“I’ve been no contact for 23 years…and I still cry every day” “I went no-contact last week and I’ve never felt more free” “I can’t keep playing this Rigged Game, …
Rejection Sensitivity: How Abandonment Wounds Distort Your Social Life And The Way You See Yourself
Imagine a moment when you walked into a room and it suddenly got quiet. Or that time in the elevator when you overheard whispering. When your friend didn’t text back …