Are you standing on the edge of your life, terrified to dive in? 

This is not a motivational pep talk. 

I’m not gonna tell you to leave the cocoon so you can become a butterfly!

I’m not gonna tell you that taking a risk and growing is going to hurt less than staying stuck and afraid. 

Because you already know that!

What I am going to remind you of, is that you were trained to be small and afraid and, therefore, it will take some training to unshackle you. 

It’s not just “courage” or “strength” you need, it’s actionable steps, provided by someone who truly gets it and who has been there and knows what works and what doesn’t. 

When you have suffered attachment trauma, words like “risk”, “courage”, “fear” take on new meaning and conventional wisdom misses the mark. 

What does courage and strength even mean? Is it just “doing the hard stuff even in the face of fear?”

That’s all fine and good if fear is all you are dealing with. But if you’ve suffered trauma from toxic and bullying relationships, especially those that started in childhood, in the supposed “sanctuary” of your own family, then you are not just dealing with fear – you are dealing with a very real knowledge of what it means to be unsafe.

Courage is not going out and taking a risk while your body, heart, and mind screams Stop! We aren’t safe!

I never recommend ignoring your body. However, you can learn to understand your body better and coach it to discern when it is truly in danger (toxic influence alarms ringing) and when it is anxious and activiated due to memories of painful relational blueprints. 

Courage is not ignoring the alarms. But it is the willingness to survive something that feels insurmountable. 

It is the willingness to face the deep well of pain, negative self-talk, difficult truths, and abandonment fears and decide that you are capable of triumphing over it. 

It is taking steps (like signing up for this newsletter) to build the capacityto overcome – even when you are beyond burnt out having had to contort yourself for so long to survive toxicity.

Courage is looking at yourself in the mirror and convincing yourself that hope, healing, and happiness are possible for you, despite all perceived evidence to the contrary. 

Courage is giving yourself permission to stop staying small, because you were made for more than this.

And yeah – that’s scary. And you’re facing that fear and doing the hard stuff like pursuing recovery anyway!

Kudos. 

Actually, kudos isn’t strong enough. 

HOLY SHITBALLS YOU ARE DOING IT YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOING IT AND IT’S GOING TO BE AMAING. 

Yeah, that feels more accurate. 

Ok, so are you standing on the edge of your life, looking over the cliff of uncertainty, and seeing in the distance a glimmer….

That’s joy. 
And fulfillment.
And wholeness.

That’s the life you were meant for! That’s the person you were made to be. 

That’s happiness, yo! An experience you weren’t allowed to have when you were told your sole purpose in life was to serve someone else agenda. 

No more, friends. No more. 

Welcome to my blog. Welcome to the bridge between toxicity and triumph. I’m so glad were travelling together. 

With hope and healing, 

Erin